Beet You Up Real Good

15 Mar

ImageSo I had a moment with Girl Scout Cookies recently.  By moment I mean…a friend of mine back home in Arkansas was selling them for her daughter.  So what.  Everybody is selling Girl Scout Cookies.  Well, my moment consisted of typing these words:  I’ll take a case  of Samoas.

A case, y’all.  That’s like 24 boxes, I think?  A case.  I couldn’t just be a normal person and say, “I’d like 3 boxes.”  No.  I’ll go ahead and have my waist line commit suicide and take as many cookies as I can get in one easy to manage giant box.  I know what you’re thinking.  Give them away.  Sell them.  Put them in the freezer.  What I’m saying is…I don’t share Girl Scout Cookies, selling them would be like having a baby and then leaving it on someone’s door step and putting cookies in a freezer is wrong because cookies don’t wear coats.  I love Samoas.  They are my favorite cookie.  So, whatever, y’all.  Tikkun Olam.

And then they attacked me.  One day after I ordered the cookies I actually had 2 boxes of them for dinner.  I had a box for breakfast.  I ate a couple of boxes of Samoas while watching GIRLS.  I was spiraling out of control.  Cookies for breakfast.  Cookies for a mid morning snack.  Cookies in the car.  I was a mess.  I noticed that my cute little corduroy pants weren’t fitting so well.  I kinda freaked. 

Then I went into “captain of the Titanic mode.”  What’s that you say?  That’s when you see that a giant ship is going down and you grab your tiny little bucket and start scooping water and throwing it over the side of the boat.  That consists of me trying to cut sugar out of my life, refusing soda, trying to cook things that are good for me and making better choices if I go to restaurants.  We’ll see what happens.  At least maybe I’ll feel better, like I’m doing something for myself.  Let’s hope I wake up 20 pounds lighter.

Anywho, one of the things I’m trying to do is to cook whole foods that I’ve never tried before.  This week I went to the store and got my usual Tilapia fillets.  I wanted to pick a vegetable to go with them that I’d not cooked in it’s natural form, that is…I wanted to cook something that didn’t come from a can.  After staring at the produce for about 10 minutes, I decided to go with Beets.  That seemed like a pretty easy choice.  I googled “Ina Garten Beet Recipe” and decided I was up for the challenge.

So, I got the beets, I followed the directions, I cooked them.  Easy.  Wonderful.  So delicious.  They were really wonderful.  Food that doesn’t come from a can really does taste better.  It feels like you’re a magician.  So amazing.

Then?  The beets hit my system.  Now, maybe I should zip it so that you experience this on your own someday, but I’m not very good at keeping my mouth shut.  All food that isn’t in your produce section clearly goes through some sort of a process.  Even canned veggies.  I have eaten beats several times.  I love them.  I’ve added a little balsamic to them and tossed them with blue cheese.  I’ve eaten them right out of a can.  They’re delicious and good for you.  BUT.  I had never made them myself right from the produce section.

The morning after roasting the beets I got up to go to the bathroom as usual.  YOU GUYS.  I had the most gorgeous fuchsia urine the world has ever seen.  It took me a minute to get to appreciating it though.  When I first saw it I was sure that I was dying.  I stared into the toilet wondering what awful disease the Girl Scout Cookies had given me.  Then I realized what was going on.  It was the beets.  Later on my way to work I get this text message from my husband, “I have purple pee and poop, disturbing yet beautiful…”

So…consider yourself warned.


12 beets
3 tablespoons good olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh thyme leaves, minced
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons raspberry vinegar
Juice of 1 large orange



Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Remove the tops and the roots of the beets and peel each one with a vegetable peeler. Cut the beets in 1 1/2-inch chunks. (Small beets can be halved, medium ones cut in quarters, and large beets cut in eighths.)

Place the cut beets on a baking sheet and toss with the olive oil, thyme leaves, salt, and pepper. Roast for 35 to 40 minutes, turning once or twice with a spatula, until the beets are tender. Remove from the oven and immediately toss with the vinegar and orange juice. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and serve warm.

7 Responses to “Beet You Up Real Good”

  1. Mama B March 15, 2013 at 10:49 am #

    TMI….but thanks for the warning!!!!!

    • Jeremy Owens March 15, 2013 at 11:03 am #

      sorry! sometimes i over-share. 🙂 xoxo

  2. stephanie/the kosher foodies March 15, 2013 at 1:55 pm #

    haha! i always forget that this happens

  3. Alessandra (DinnerInVenice) March 17, 2013 at 9:11 am #

    Oh my Gd laughed so hard, appreciate the warning! Never knew what beets could do to you 🙂

  4. ronnievfein March 17, 2013 at 7:35 pm #

    When my older brother was an infant my mom gave him baby food beets and the same thing happened. She freaked out and took him to the doctor! This happens to so many people! I love beets and eat them all th time.

  5. This American Bite April 11, 2013 at 9:53 am #

    Great post and included in my Kosher Cooking roundup today.


  1. Kosher Cooking Carnival - April 2013 - Recipes by This American Bite - April 11, 2013

    […] at From Away.  I love to pair red meat with beets and Whitney of Jewhugry has a great way of roasting them with citrus and raspberry […]

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